I know I have been lacking in writing here. It is utterly my fault, though I have the will to write, I just can't seem to get all my thoughts down and so they still plague me! I hate it!!!!!
Last weekend was spent in Charlotte, and it was the most fun I have had in a very long time. I miss my friends terribly. I miss feeling like I fit in somewhere. I miss having things to do after work and people to talk too. Here...I have a couple friends that I see every now and then, and co-workers that I am not friends with. Don't get me wrong, its not that I don't like them, its just that we are not friends. We have nothing in common. There is a big age difference and a different life style. All my friends, save for one, in Charlotte, are all married. We like the same things, have common interests. But here...its just me. Me and my thoughts. And when I do become trapped in my own mind it is not usually a good thing. I become very lost, and depressed. And can I say how much I hate my husband for doing this too me. Just when I was getting used to being in Charlotte, comfortable in my surroundings, he moves me into a house that I didn't want, far away from EVERYTHING, and then gives up on our marriage. Fucker.
(This is what happens. I start to rant and it only makes me angrier, sadder...and a list of other emotions.)
Part of me wants to return to Charlotte, to stay. Of course I have no job and no place to live so that is out of the question. I'm stuck here. Trapped in more ways then one. Waiting for my life to start over and be good and make me happy...when will that happen?
No comments:
Post a Comment